Life As You Say

Coming Soon....

I fell in Love with a 50 year old man

Aaaaawww !! exclaimed my heart....that one moment....and i fell in love with a 50 year old man. Strange !! Can love really keep someone alive? This is indeed a strange feeling....It just feels like falling in love with wisdom or I must say men get better as they grow old, just like wine. I guess it is falling in love with the feeling of love. Charming is this old guy, filled with experiences of life, I can say he is the perfect yin and yang. Happiness is just knowing you are in love with a man, who is in love with life. Truly inspiring to have him in my life. Blessed to have experienced love of this kind. Wow!! Sometimes we just don't need a reason to love someone, we just fall in love. 

I am.....

I feels bad when a file in my folder gets corrupt and even after trying my best i can't recover my documents. My life sometimes seems like this document which is damaged and even after i try my best, i can't recover that file. People you will have to wait....i just learnt it is recovering...They say patience is the key. I am not sure if i really have to trust this...and then i trust....so friends i am recovering please wait...

Cherish

There are many moments in my life that i really want to hold on to and cherish them for life. And when i feel the need to cherish these moments, I am carried away by so many thoughts and ideas of my daily life. The essence of life is getting materialistic, there seems no room to really let go and be with yourself. The constant thought of , "am i losing something" runs like a gushing river. That very thought makes me search for more ideas and more ways to explore this so called 'Life'. Hey !! While all this drama is happening in my head...Life is happening , right here , right now. I really can't assess my speed for life, i am not sure how much i have achieved as per the standards of the world. All i know that in these years of my life, i have taught myself to cherish every moment ad believe me it is priceless. 

Inner Dialogue

Marine Drive is my favourite place in the city. Love spending evenings in silence with myself. These moments of inner dialogues are precious to me. I always want to hold on to these feelings, these thoughts...and every time i have made the effort to do so...i felt stagnant.. I learnt to live in the moment...i learnt to let go all these feelings and thoughts once i have cherished time in that moment. Wow!! Somethings have to die, so somethings can live.... 

Gift of a Family

Thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Wamalwa my dear friends who invited me to their home for a fellowship dinner. It is inspiring to see such couples who set an example to the world. A family is a key unit of the society. We all need to raise families that live in love and harmony. Truly blessed to have known this family, for a family is a human experience in which we learn the art of life and of love.

This is it...It's Perfect...

One life...one opportunity..one opportunity to be who you are..to do things that you love doing. This time no self doubt, no second guess....This time...it's me, it's perfect. There have been times where i wondered if i was really born to do the things i do. Always setting my parameters to someone's expectations...experiencing failures and victories at the same time... Life looked like these dots.... I am... I want... I feel.... Do i really need to answer these questions?? This is my story and it's perfect...

Youth Dialogue

Young people have the power to transform the world. Meeting the students of Pax Romana IMCS Africa at University of Nairobi, Kikuyu Campus was a fruitful experience. These dynamics students had so much to share. They humbled me with their thoughts and words of wisdom.Students all across the world have the same struggle, the same anxiety of their present and their future. What i truly appreciate is the resilience spirit of these students. These young students are truly the ambassadors of dialogue. God Bless You all. Thanks for all that you do to make this world a better place. 

Mr.Correct and Ms.Talkative

We all need that one friend of the opposite gender who says,"Correct" for everything that you say. This crazy friend of mine is always there to hear me out and cheer me up saying, "correct".

This little feeling called....Happiness...

It is good to take some time off and do these little things which keep us down to earth. Taking a walk in the Warli Indigenous village at Walvanda, i encountered these little things in life. Children playing with marbles, women drawing water from the well, a grandmother taking care of her little grandson and the real joy of dialogue with each other while doing these chores. Sometimes we are too caught by glamours things around us and forget the joy of these little things in life. So let's walk down the street and find that one person with whom we can share these little things in life.

Pat & Me

I first met Pat on the streets of New York and then spent quality time with him in Nairobi. He is an amazing human being one could dwell with. His presence was enough for me to feel safe. Our dinner date was all about Bollywood movies, cultural practices in India and Africa, and ofcourse the common passion "the love for our movement - Pax Romana". Pat is a man of integrity and he is adorable when he sings "Kuch Kuch Hotha Hai" to me. He is a great friend i will cherish for life. Someone who understands me, who takes all my tantrums, who gets mad at me, who says "sure" when i ask him to get me something....hahaha!! Pat and I have a special bond of friendship. I am so blessed to have met you in this lifetime my Luhya man.

Safari

Freedom - is that one word that describes my feeling on my first Safari at the Nairobi National Park. There is a beautiful saying, "a lion does not need a companion". This place brings so much of courage  like the lion, that i really believed that i could stand alone and roar. It was an amazing feeling to be one with the wild life and witness their habitat. It was hard for me initially to step into this sacred world, but when i closed my eyes and recalled the words of Fr. Niphot,.. "Surrender yourself, Nature Protects You"... i was ready for my first Safari. Let go...take one day at a time....life is now or never....freedom...is what these Zebras, Giraffes, baboons, antelopes, birds, and others had to say. 

Paul and Jacinta

As soon as I walked into the house of this lovely couple, I said, "Who is that woman for whom Paul rejected me? Where is that woman?". Paul and I met in Mumbai few years back. I remember a date with him in Mumbai, where he expressed how much he loved this girl (Jacy) whom he was planning to propose for marriage. Well certainly for me it was not the right tone on a date...hahaha!! And i loved what Paul was up to in his life. And then they got married and i was so fortunate to meet him again, and this time with his wife Jacinta. .

Oh so let me continue....when i walked into their house, and said "Who is that woman for whom Paul rejected me? Where is that woman?". There was no sound at all. I really made a prayer in my heart, "oh good lord, i hope i have not offended this woman". Then i sit on the sofa for sometime, Paul goes into the kitchen and comes along with his gorgeous wife. Aaaawww i loved her at one go. She was the first one to cook my first Ugali meal in Nairobi. I walked into the kitchen and there she taught me how Ugali is made. Wow!! Women truly can bond over cooking, i thought to myself. 

Thanks Paul and Jacy you guys simply inspire me. Thanks for the love and warmth. And yeah look how pretty i look in this Swahili dress and the Maasai shawl. Sometimes you just need a moment, and you have friends for life. God Bless You my friends. 

The Warmth of Maasai Boma

Anyone who has been a student of Anthropology will know the joy of knowing the Maasai people. I was blessed to be among them at Namanga which is at the border of Kenya and Tanzania. As an anthropologist i can quote literature reviews on ethnographic works and studies done by many who have lived among the Maasai. My one day visit to the Maasai Manyatta certainly does not permit me to write about their way of life. Nevertheless, i had an opportunity to know them in person (human touch), an experience which a book or a video on YouTube would not give.

Let me start with the Maasai Boma (house), the settlement pattern of number of houses in a circle together constitute a Manyatta. As you see in the picture, this is how a Maasai Boma looks. It is warm and cosy. The Maasai people are just warm like their boma. They smile with no inhibitions, they dance with joy, their eyes sparkle like stars. They are people who live life to the fullest each day. I loved meeting the elderly women in the village. They were calm and friendly. There was so much to learn from them. They are truly women of substance who stand tall on the face of all odds. They showed me their bomas and flaunted their jewelries. They so much reminded me of indigenous people back home in India. Truly helping me understand the universality of cultures across the globe. A group of elderly women welcomed me in their community through a dance. They were so happy to have me among them, at the same time they were shy and were giggling. That was their authentic self expression and it made me feel so awesome. I enjoyed the simple festive food they offered me. And interacted with few of them through gestures of hi, thank you etc. 

It was a dream come true. The little things in life at times teach you the true joy of living.These experiences are so special that i find it hard to express them in words. All i have with me is the Warmth of Maasai people. 

Pain or Love - An Artist

This post is dedicated to all the artist in the world 

I really don't when i became an artist, i learnt this when i first fell in love and when i had my first heart break. Ever since then i learnt the beauty of being an artist. Over the years i have learnt the art of living, putting up a smile even when i am hurt deep inside. Dancing to the sound of the wind, when i am walking on fire. Rising from the ashes again and again...Some people are different they need some internal forces to drive them. An artist needs pain or love, if he/she does not have even one of this..the artist can die. There is something that needs to inspire an artist, pain and love are the two core aspects in his/her life. So what do Artists do all day ?? They just like you search for inspiration....Love and Pain inspire them the most. If you are an artist, you will know.  

Self Expression

What does it really mean to be fully self expressed? For me....errr it is again gonna be in the domain of white and black. Let me share a recent insight to this idea of self expression. While we all find our ways to express through music, painting, dance, at times just shouting etc. There is another dimension which we often fail to see, that is " suppressing other people's self expression" considering it as insane or not valuable. While i adhere to the understanding that self expressions must be channelized in a way which is pro-human and pro-environment, which mean the expression being harmless...i also acknowledge that often we don't even let people talk and express themselves through words. I have learnt to give space to people in my life to express themselves the way that works best for them, at times their self expression and non-expression hurts, yet i am cultivating that patience so that i don't suppress someone's way of being and not judge that person. 

Leap of Faith

You run in a certain direction not knowing where you really heading and then you take a leap, and that leap is the leap of faith. To trust that life is all about walking the roads that are less traveled, to be the first one to say, "i love you", to do what your heart says, to love, to cherish people you know in your life, to take a walk in the wilderness, to just take a leap with immense faith in yourself. And that is what dance does t me, it teaches me to take a leap of faith....and it is not an easy leap. 

He was always there....

And something happened and i said goodbye...i didn't even inform him that i was leaving. However, he always was there by my side, in my heart, in my thoughts, in my words....after 3 years we met again and our friendship is just the way i left it and we hugged each other and decided to carry our friendship forward just the way we loved it. Without uttering anything that happened in these 3 years, it is past and it is over. What we live in is the present and future of our relationship. He was there.....and i love him....

Boredom

In a recent phase of my life which i kept calling , "Boredom", I was shocked to have learnt that i had nothing that productive to do. So i kept scrolling the WhatsApp Contact list, Checking Facebook Status and dwelling into nothingness, for a change my brains were on strike shouting, "No Thinking" and my emotions were drained, as if my heart was a rock. As usual i rushed for help to the amazing friends i have in my life, and started talking to them about this way of being. Well some said, they felt the same recently and were just being with it. And some said it is a phase that one must enjoy, as your mind and body need to rest and it is fine taking a break from the routine. "Doing nothing at times is such a blessing", said a friend. I also picked a book lying on my shelf which gave a Buddhist perspective on health, which again left me with some access to think, "why this boredom?". Finally, the mantra was "ACTION". It is some little things that i need to keep doing, so that i can push myself out of this spell of boredom. And it is to practice 'patience' and understand that each day is not gonna be the way i want it to be, and if i really want something to manifest, i have to be consistent with my actions. Thanks to all those people who appreciate my blog, and thus, this post - a sign of action to move out of this spell of boredom. If we just have to consider that life is just like the flowing river, i guess we will never get stagnant.    

Dialogue of Touch

By

   Marina D’Costa and Romero D’Souza

After the breath taking cultural night, they walked down the street hand in hand. He pulled her towards himself, their foreheads pressed moving down to the tip of their noses and as she was about to kiss him, he stepped back and said, “It is hongi”. Hongi !! she reacted being disappointed. “I thought it was a romantic moment for both of us” she exclaimed. But it was not, it was hongi and he was a Maori. “Hongi”[1] is a traditional greeting of the Maori indigenous community in New Zealand, which is done by pressing one's nose and forehead at the same time to another person at an encounter. In the “hongi”, the ha (or breath of life), is exchanged and intermingled, it is also interpreted as sharing the soul of each other and is considered as to have come directly from god. Through the exchange of this physical greeting, one is no longer considered manuhiri (visitor) but rather “tangata whenua”  i.e. one of the people of the land. We were moved with this touch, which got us curious to know other aspects of touch that would really help us dialogue in this world of emotions where words fail.

Touch can be symbolic and non - symbolic.  However, symbolic touch can bring power to this abstract concept, which can also be a universal language across cultures. We often write about dialogue in the context of language and words, where one was obliged to talk face to face to the other person to express emotions and concerns. How did we not see this aspect of touch that would be equally powerful to dialogue in silence, especially to explore emotions that are not easy to be expressed in words. Which most of the times are results of no clarity or one can say just a matter of human instinct which has no justification. Viola found that children understand this dialogue of touch. Viola Brody is the originator of the development play therapy approach and also a psychologist, who in her book the dialogue of touch[2] calls capable touching as the core of developmental play therapy, building both the self of the hurt child and his or her appreciation of the nurturing other. It thus makes way for dialogue between them and as the dialogue becomes an organizing force for the child's behaving and relating which in return facilitates healing and maturation.

Let us get as bizarre as we can to explore this idea of touch in dialogue. We have seen nannies talk to babies while massaging them and the baby smiling and responding as if they understood what was conveyed. We can also replace nanny with mothers and see the same response. Are they experiencing dialogue of touch? What about petting a dog, does that also become a dialogue of touch? Giving condolences at funerals with a hug or a kiss is dialogue of touch? Is holding someone close to you when they are in tears is dialogue of touch? Or is making love with someone is dialogue of touch? These questions are certainly going to be an access for us to get into deep dialogue of touch, which may generate uncomforting zones for emotions and experiences that has left us with an impression of many kinds, this can make us feel good or bad or absolutely nothing. There is just no reasoning at times, it is just a feeling and one has to stay with it forever. Should we then call dialogue of touch, a mysterious or magical touch?

When painting the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo chose not to depict the creation of Adam through breath, he chose touch, however, by painting the fingers of God and Adam and leaving a small space between the two, Michelangelo creates a tingling tension, an anticipation of that wonderous moment, as we all wait for God to complete his Creation of Adam[3]. Would that touch complete the god’s love for humanity? The bollywood movie ‘Black’ revolves around a blind and deaf girl Michelle McNally (name of the character), and her relationship with her teacher Debraj Sahai (name of the character)  who is instrumental in her education and teaching her words and expressions of music and dance of the outer world through touch since she was eight. One of the lyrics of the song from the movie in Hindi says, “meine chukar dekha hai” which means “I have seen through touch”. When Debraj supports Michelle who is now in her late twenties to understand the happening at her sister Sara’s wedding, he tells her about the couple kissing. The next thing Michelle unreasonably expresses that she would want to experience how it feels to be kissed on her lips and begins to wonder about love which she has not experienced. The teacher kisses her to fulfill her request and moves away from her forever knowing what he has done. What was this touch? Silently it had a message for all of us, a mysterious feeling that touch generates, that can never be expressed in words.

Touch is an essential element of life. It gives one a sense of the presence of the other. It is an experience of the inner understanding, perhaps we can even call it a gift. In dialogue of touch we experience the gift of giving, of sharing, of oneness. Think of a very practical reality when two bodies become one in the act of making love. It is trust, openness, confidence, mutual giving, it is an increasing and growing necessity, we would even call it an exodus of life. The world today depends on touch – smartphones, touch laptops, touch TV, touch companies and products and marketing. It is through the touch on our phone we think we dialogue with someone across oceans, is that really a dialogue of touch? When travelling via public transport one experiences the sense of touch knowingly – unknowingly, consciously – unconsciously, wantingly – unwantingly. The touch of someone waking you up in the morning to someone patting your back to put you to sleep, kissing you good night. Those living in the modern world can experience touch in a negative way like that of those oppressed, suppressed, abused and raped. A society experiences touch when one is struggling, surviving, and feeling insecure. The dialogue of touch leads us to shifting paradigms and confronted paradoxes of life and reality. We know that the “rule of touch” is sensual and sensitive. Thus, it is important to considered cultural and social norms. Let our sharing on touch be an invitation to each one of us as persons, community, nation to discern and determine the approach we have in Dialogue of Touch. It is a phenomenon  we still need to explore, for now it is a search manifested in words.

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[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hongi

[2] Viola Brody. 1993. Dialogue of Touch: Development Play Therapy (Master Work Series). Originally published: Treasure island, Fla : Developmental Play Therapy Associates, c 1993.

[3] http://www.rome.info/michelangelo/sistine-chapel/creation-of-adam/